So, this is how pathetic I am
by motocrossgirl4079
Summary: Pain, heartbreak, hurt, and hope. I can't get over him. Mostly fictional but the base is all true better summary inside


I love him, and he doesn't care, but I still love him. He dates other girls, but I still love him. How can you love someone for 2 and a half years, and not even see them for almost a year, and yet still be completely in love with them?

This is my story, please don't ridacule me, just try to understand my heart. Thats what I'm trying to do...

( Please excuse my slepping and grammer, I am working on this, but I am a novice writer. feel free to message me about it. Also these are not realy names. The story is real, just names are changed. Well most of the story is, but some is what I wish would happen... )

So here i sit, daydreaming in my Geometry class thinking about him. I don't get it, he moved after 8th grade, and here I am a sophmore, still thinking about a jerk that broke my heart. I sound pathetic I know, but I can't help it. When I see him my heart skips a beat, I hold my breathe, and I get so lost. I've had dreams about him, more than once even after he left. I've tried to get over him, but that was an epic fail. He was perfect, and he still is. I can over look what he has done. The drinking and the pot, I just want to be with him. I know I can't though, but I wonder if he will see me diffrent when he comes back. I'm nothing like I was when he knew me, and I'm glad I've changed. I'm not the good little girl I always was. I'm loud, proud, weird, and I love life. I look older and prettier. I've lost weight, cut my hair, and I've developed my own style. I'm not scene, but I consider myself a rock and country girl. I love jeans, normal and skinny, and band shirts of all kinds. I have a light brown/dark blonde hair, green eyes, 5'6, not too thin, but I'm some what skinny. I'm not the strongest or fastest, but I'm one of the nicest girls you will ever meet if your nice to me. I love to laugh and make people feel good about themselves. I've had people say they love me to death, from family to freinds to boyfriends. But one person that could make me feel like a punk princess going to a Black Veil Brides concert to play with them, never notices. My name is Riley, and I'm in love with a jerk named Kyle.

So I bet your asking who the heck is Kyle, right? He is a sophmore, plays guitar and drums, and soccer. He is funny as hell,has an accent from living in the country, smart, has the most amzing blue eyes, dark brown hair. He is tall, strong, he can be sweet as can be, and he can be a total jerk. 8th grade year we have a banquet which is like a prom for middle school. Well, I has asked him to go with me and he had said that he didn't know if he was going. Well, I guess he changed his mind and I asked him the day of banquet. He had walked in with me and we started talking to our friends, we didn't sit together, we barely even talked. He did come and find me to get out pictures taken. And I was so nervious, he had asked me if his tie was straight ( and oh my gawd he looked so hawt in a suit) He has put his arm around my waist as the guy was taking a picture and he made a joke about the guy's breathe smelling, and I laughed. I didn'y look good in the pics at all, but he did. But, oh well. I can't change the past, right? Maybe things will change later this year.

I've heard many rumors that he is coming back after christmas break. I don't want to get my hopes up and then get hurt when he dates someone else. Maybe we can bge friends and actually get along this time. And my cousin Marie has been talking to him on the computer, and he says he likes me as a friend. Maybe this time things can work out. Maybe, just maybe, we will get together...

What am I thinking? That won't happen, ever. I'm not what he wants no matter how much I change or how much I wish I was his girl, and his ONLY girl.

( OK! first chapter, revier and tell me what you think! I'm already working on the next one and I'll upload it when I get 5 reviews. Hope this story makes it. Thanks everyone! )


End file.
